My status:
I'm 35 years old, married for one year. We decided to start trying for a family 6 months ago. Call it women's intuition or what you will, but I had a sinking feeling from the start that something would not go according to plan. I have a history of endometriosis (laparascopy 5 years ago) and have been on the pill continuously since then. Ironically, I terminated an unplanned pregnancy when I was 16 years old that resulted from the very first time I had sex. Needless to say, my adult life since that time has consisted of me trying very hard to avoid pregnancy and now I am in the sticky position of being unable to attain something that I tried very hard not to do for a long time. Sometimes karma comes around and kicks you right in the ass. Not to mention the constant guilt that has resulted from that termination and the nagging thoughts that maybe that was it for me, and now I am forever screwed.
After 6 months of TTC, I had the lucky experience of speaking to the surgeon who performed my endometriosis surgery (he just happened to answer the phone when I called to get my surgical report) and he referred me to an RE who has been absolutely wonderful. Initial bloodwork was all normal, hubby's SA normal. I wanted to start treatment right away, so he started me on 100mg Clomid with plans to do IUI. I had an HSG on CD9 which showed both my tubes being blocked proximally at the junction with the uterus. The radiologist was also concerned about a possible fibroid because the shape of my uterus was strange. The next day I saw my RE, who did a saline sonogram (loved having these two awesome procedures back to back) and found no evidence of a fibroid. He thinks I just have a weird shaped uterus. OK.
He gave me 2 choices:
1. Laparascopy to try to unblock my tubes with a cannula. This will also give him the opportunity to have a look see and determine what else might be going on in there. He said he could also resect my tubes if needed, but I'm not sure I really want to go there.
2. Straight to IVF
I have now found myself in the very unwanted and unexpected position of being that infertile woman and trying to adjust to that. Right now I am waiting to hear if my insurance will cover the surgery. I am as of this writing operating under the false hope that some miracle occurred this month and an egg somehow slipped through my perilous fallopian tube to be fertilized. This way, of course, any decision I make about future treatment will be obsolete. Ahh, the power of positive thinking. Or it could be denial. I have spent far too much time researching all the possibilities and statistics. There is no right or good answer.
Infertility is hard. I am amazed at the strength and resilience of all the women and men who deal with this. I hope I can handle it with grace.
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